I had a baby doctor appointment yesterday...I am past the mark where they will stop labor if it begins, so, hallelujah! When this little guy comes, he comes! I'm hoping to hold out for at least another week or 2 tho- my first was a preemie- born at 35 weeks- and I don't want to do that again. He didn't nurse well, and I wound up getting chronic mastitis until I finally gave it up and moved him to formula. Nope, I'd rather be big and hot....(yeah, I'm so freakin' hot, let me tell you) for a couple more weeks than do that again.
And so, this is the last stretch of my last pregnancy. After this I. Am. Done. Like signed the form for sterilization yesterday done. And it's bittersweet. I wish I could have more kids, but unfortunately I have this terrible pregnancy disorder called "extreme hyperemesis". The truth is, if I ever had to do this again, I would be devastated. I'm nauseous every waking moment for 9 months. It never goes away until I have the baby. I had a standing prescription for IVs at the local e.r. all winter, and by spring I was throwing up blood (having damaged my insides) and having teeth literally crumble in my mouth from all the acid. It's baaaaad, bad stuff this hyperemesis. I can't do it again. I can't believe I did it 3 times! And, I tell myself that if God wanted me to have more children, he would have given me easier pregnancies; so I just need to be grateful for what I've got, and move on.
Moving on...I want to go back to school and get a degree in nursing. Am I crazy? Yes. But you already knew that. But I'm nervous. Will I be able to balance family with schooling? Can we afford it? What if I'm so out of it I can't pass my classes?
There are really 2 things I fear the most- biology and chemistry. Those two are the scary classes; they freak me out. I took chemistry in high school. It was the only class I ever cheated in, and I would have failed if I hadn't. All I remember from it is something vague about a periodic table and how the boys who sat behind me kept bringing scraps from lunch to grow in their desk. Some of that mold was unearthly.
Anyway, I'm facing my fears. I've found these videos by Khan Academy on You Tube and they make chemistry- well- almost easy. And so far it's just basic (uh-huh, that's where geniuses like me need to start) but I really understand it. I spent the afternoon learning about Stoichiometry, and I understand it. I'm in awe. If you ever have kids who need tutoring in chemistry, go to You Tube and look this guy up, he's so easy to understand. If you miss some thing, you can go back, if you need a minute to write notes, you can pause it- and it's broken up into short 10-15 minute segments.
I'm a pregnant nerd.